93
ある惨劇
パタリロ!153
A Tragedy
Patalliro! 153

94
Panel 1
常春の国マリネラ
A country of everlasting spring, Malynera.

Panel 2
ごめんくださーい
Pardon meee.

Panel 3
シーン
Shiin - Silence

Panel 4
すみませーん
Excuse meee.

Panel 5
シーン
Shiin - Silence

Panel 6
たのもー！
I've come to ask something!
*The word he uses here is a standard word for issuing a challenge before entering a dojo. It's essentially a demand to see the master.

95
Panel 1
でやーっ！！
Deyaah!!

カンカンカン
Kan kan kan - Clack clack clack

Panel 2
とおりゃーっ！！
Toryaaah!!

カンカンカンカン
Kan kan kan kan - Clack clack clack clack

Panel 3
待たんかい！
Wait!

Panel 4
なんでいきなりこんなことせにゃならんのだ！
Why do we suddenly have to do this?!

バキッ！
Baki! - Crack!

Panel 5
あいーっ骨が！
Ooow, my bone!

おまえがたのもーなんて言うからだ。何しに来た
It's because you said "I've come to ask something!". What did you come for?

96
Panel 1
住民税をもってきたんです
I brought the residence tax.

Panel 2
ひいふうみい。うむ たしかに六千三百円
One, two, three... Yeah, it's certainly 6,300 yen.

私立 パタリロ税務署
Private Company, Patalliro's Tax Office

Panel 3
マリネラには税金がないのになぜぼくだけ払わなきゃならないんです
There's no tax in Malynera, why do only I have to pay?

マリネラ国民でもないのに勝手に住みついてるからだ
Because Malynera citizens live as they please.

Panel 4
ところで商売の方はどうだ
By the way, how is business?

商売？
Business?

Panel 5
困るな商売だなんて
It's a troublesome business.

漫画は芸術ですよ
Manga is a fine art.

Panel 6
ゲイが術を使うのか？
Practicing being gay?

そうなんです。ホモが集まって忍術を習って
Yes. Gays gathering and learning Ninjutsu.

Panel 7
いいかげんにしなさい
Shape up!

ポン
Pon - Pat

97
Panel 1
チャカチャンリン
Chaka chan rin

Panel 2
チャンリン
Chan rin

Panel 3
だからなんでをお囃子にのってひっこまにゃならんのだ！
So why is there an orchestra?!

知りませんよ！
I don't know!

Panel 4
おのれが芸術なぞとぬかすからだ！漫画の原稿を売ってメシを食ってりゃ商売だろーが！
It's because your business leaves out things like fine art! Your business is selling comic manuscripts and because you need to eat!

Panel 5
リヤカーに原稿のせて売って歩いてるみたいですね。あれは雑誌に掲載する権利を出版社にですね
It feels like someone is carrying manuscripts in a bicycle's trailer and selling them, and we're walking to it. It's the publisher's right to appear in magazines.

あ~~~うるさい！！
Ah~~~ shut up!!

Panel 6
仕事はどうだと聞いてるんだ！
I asked how your work was!

パッとしません
It doesn't happen quickly.

98
Panel 1
最初からそう言えば一言ですむんじゃないか
If I recall, didn't you say that from the beginning?

ブチブチ
Buchi buchi - Grumble grumble

四コマ漫画に挑戦してるんですがむずかしくて
I had a go at the four-panel strip manga but it was difficult.

Panel 2
ストーリー漫画描きが四コマとは珍しいな
It's rare for a story comic to be in four-panels.

見てみます？
Show me?

Panel 3
この帽子ドイツんだ
This hat is German.

Panel 4
アルゼンチン
Argentina.

Panel 5
スウェーデン食わぬは男の恥
Sweden. Not eating is a man's shame.

Panel 6
エチオピア
Ethiopia.

Panel 7
どうです
How is it?

どうって
"How is it"?

Panel 8
何だこりゃ
What is this?

四コマ
A four-panel comic.

Panel 9
落ちも何もないじゃないか
Isn't there any punch-line?

ハッハッハッ
Ha ha ha

99
Panel 1
古い古い ファミコン世代の読者に落ちや起承転結のある四コマ漫画は受けませんよ
That's old. Four-panel manga with punch-lines and character introductions won't be popular with readers of the Famicon generation.

鈴木光明の漫画教屋
Suzuki Mitsuaki's Manga Lessons

日本の講師 魔夜峰央大先生
Lecturer from Japan: Maya Mineo

そうかなあ
I see.

Panel 2
もう一枚あるんです
There's another one.

まだあるのか
There's more?

Panel 3
島が何か落としていったよ
The island dropped something.

Panel 4
こなくそっ
Flour shit.

Panel 5
えっ？
Eh?

Panel 6
粉末うんこっ
Fine powder shit.

Panel 7
ますますわからん
I'm understanding it less and less.

わからない所が芸術で
What you don't understand is a fine art.

Panel 8
ひょっとしてあれじゃないか。おまえ まともなのが描けないから こういうスタイルでごまかしてるんじゃないか
Or, isn't this a possibility? Because you honestly can't draw, you use this style to cover it up?

100
Panel 1
失礼なことを言わないでください！
Please don't say rude things!

Panel 2
はたちの時デビューして以来 28歳の今日まで14年間漫画家をやってきたんです。まともな四コマだって描けますとも！
Since you debuted at twenty, you've drawn manga for 14 years until today when you're 28 years old! You should be able to honestly draw a four-panel comic!
*Getting his age wrong here may be on purpose. Mineo Maya was born in 1953, and this comic was released around 1988, making him about 34/35.

口では何とでも言える
Those are just words.

Panel 3
よーし 見てらっしゃい
All right, I'll show you!

シャカシャカ
Shaka shaka - Whisk whisk

Panel 4
きっ
Tree

Panel 5
しょう
shou

Panel 6
てん
mark
*In Japanese, "ki" means "tree", "ten" means "mark" (the middle one is the kanji for "shou"). "Kisshouten" means "goddess".

Panel 7
けつっ！
Butt!

Panel 8
ワーン！！
Waaahn!!

Panel 9
やっぱり描けなーい！
I knew it, I can't draw!

あきらめの早い奴だ
You give up quickly.

101
Panel 1
汲めつきせぬ才能の泉はどこへ行ったんだー！！
Where is the endless spring of talent?!!

エーン！
Eeeghn!

最初からなかったんだろう
There was never one to start with.

Panel 2
さて アホをからかうのもあきたし
Well, I'm tired of idiotic banter.

Panel 3
昼寝も食事もさっきすませたし
I finished napping and eating awhile ago.

Panel 4
たいくつだな
It's boring.

そうですね
Isn't it?

プハー
Puhaa - Gasp

Panel 5
しょうがない。またロンドンへ行って色魔とそのつれあいでもおちょくるか
It can't be helped. Shall we go to London again and tease that masher's wife?

お供します
I'll come with you.

Panel 7
ピンポーン
Pinpoon - Ping poong

102
Panel 1
カンカンカン
Kan kan kan - Clack clack clack

Panel 2
カンカンカンカン
Kan kan kan kan - Clack clack clack clack

Panel 3
やめっちゅーに！！
Stop it!!

ピンポーン
卓球
Pinpoon - Ping poong

Panel 4
はーい
Hello.

バタバタバタ
Bata bata bata - Clatter clatter

Panel 5
ガチャ
Gacha - Click

Panel 6
お待ちしてましたわ！さあお入りになって！
Sorry for keeping you waiting! Well, come on in!

ホホホ
Ho ho ho

103
Panel 4
あっ
Ah.

Panel 5
パタリロ？！
Patalliro?!

マライヒ 何をしてるんだ！！
Maraich, what are you doing?!!

Panel 6
おまえとうとう女装趣味に。。。
You've finally become a transvestite...

バンコランちがうよ。パタリロと
You're not Bancoran. It's Patalliro and...

Panel 7
あれっ えーとそっちの人は
Huh, ummm, this person is...

漫画描きのミーちゃんです
The manga artist, Mii-chan.

Panel 8
ポンチ絵描きのミーちゃんだって！
It's the Punch-style artist Mii-chan!

ポンチ絵？
Punch-style?
*A reference to Charles Wirgman's work, "The Japan Punch".

いつの時代のんです
What period is this?

104
Panel 1
ゲッソリ
Gessori - Losing weight

Panel 2
なんと！
What?!

Panel 3
するとなにか今度英国と条約をC国の全権大使というのがいて その娘がバンコランを見そめたというのか！
So there's an ambassador plenipotentiary from C-country here about a treaty with England and his daughter fell in love with Bancoran at first sight?!

Panel 4
運悪く彼が警備の責任者をおおせつかっちゃってね
Unfortunately, he received orders to be in charge of his security.

くたっ
Kuta - Exhausted

Panel 5
まずいなあ。大使本人ならともかく娘じゃなあ
That's bad. For the ambassador himself; not the daughter.

どーゆー意味だ
What's that supposed to mean?

Panel 6
年寄りでも男の方がいいだろう
Even an old man would be better.

マライヒかわりになぐってくれ
Maraich, hit him for me.

105
Panel 1
冗談ごとじゃないよ。そのお嬢さんが強引な性格らしくて 今日父親と一緒に結婚を前提とした交際を申し込みに来るんだ
It's not a joke. It seems the young woman has an overbearing personality, and she's coming with her father today to request his company as a preamble for marriage.

あら~~~
Ah~~~

Panel 2
ハッキリことわれんのか？
You can't reject her clearly?

大使を怒らせたら条約がどうなるか。。。軍事上重要な条約なのだ
If the ambassador gets mad, what will happen to the treaty...? It's an important treaty about military affairs.

Panel 3
無茶苦茶な話だな
That's a jumbled story.

だからこんな格好をしてるんだよ。彼の婚約者ということにすれば あきらめるんじゃないかって
So that's why I'm dressed like this. She might give up if he has a fiance.

Panel 4
そんな強引な人がその程度でひきさがるでしょうか
Would such an overbearing person withdraw just because of that?

かえって闘志を燃やすかもな
On the contrary, it will probably increase her fighting spirit.

Panel 5
ピンポーン
卓球
Pinpoon - Ping poong

106
Panel 1
来た！
She's come!

うわ~~~っ！！
Uwaaah!!

Panel 2
パタリロ！おまえが来てくれたのは天の助けだ。おまえの力でこの話をぶちこわしてくれ！頼む！
Patalliro! It's divine intervention that you came! Ruin this conversation with your abilities! I'm counting on you!

Panel 3
そりゃあまあ
Ah, well...

謝礼ははずむから！
I'll give you a reward!

Panel 4
謝礼だなんて金額はあとで決めよう
Let's decide on the amount of the reward.

引き受けてくれるか！ありがたい！
You'll be responsible?! Thanks!

Panel 5
おまえたちは隠れてろ
You guys hide.

頼むぞ！
We're counting on you!

Panel 6
バタン！
Batan! - Slam!

Panel 7
いくら女嫌いいでもあの反応は異常だな
No matter how much he hates women that's a bizarre reaction.

はあ
Yes.

107
Panel 1
ピンポーン
卓球
Pinpoon - Ping poong

わかったわかった
I got it, I got it.

Panel 2
ガチャッ
Gacha - Click

本日はようこそ
Welcome to Japan.

Panel 3
ばーん！！
Baan!! - Baam!!

Panel 5
じたばた
Jitabata - Struggle

こら 一人で逃げるな！
Hey, don't run off suddenly!

Panel 6
ズイッ
Zui - Push

108
Panel 1
ごんにぢば
Bello.

あわわわ
Awawawah!

Panel 2
ズイッ
Zui - Thrust

Panel 3
ごんにぢば
Bello.

Panel 4
わーっ！！
Waaah!!

Panel 5
ダーッ！
Daa! - Stoomp!

Panel 6
ごんにぢばー
Belloo.

ギャーッ！！
Gyaaah!!

Panel 7
えーい悪霊退散！！
Eeeh, evil spirit begone!!

シュビッ
Shubi - Swipe

109
Panel 1
パッ
Pa - Pluck

Panel 2
ボリボリボリ
Bori bori bori - Munch munch munch

Panel 3
何なんだ。おまえは特撮映画の宣伝か。それとも顔で気絶させて金をうばう新手の泥棒か！
Wh-what is it? Are you an advertisement for the special effects for a movie? Or is it a new type of thief whose face makes people faint and then they steal your money?!

Panel 4
おとうだばあんだごど言っでる
You dell them daddy.

おまえがあんまりきれいなんでてれてるんだよ
You're too beautiful, why are you being shy?

ハッハッ
Ha ha

Panel 5
あなたは？！
You are?!

Panel 6
申しおくれました。C国の全権大使カラムーチョです。これは愛娘のエリザベス
I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself sooner. I'm the Ambassador-Plenipotentiary Karamucho of C-country. This is my favorite daughter, Elizabeth.

110
Panel 1
ええーっ
Eeeh?

Panel 2
まさかと思ったけどやっぱりそうだぞ おい
Believe it or not I knew it, hey.

愛娘って。言葉の意味を知ってるんでしょうか
"Favorite daughter". Does he know the meaning of that word?

Panel 3
バンコランの奴たいへんな代物を押しつけおったな
That Bancoran, he pushed something terrible on me.

おとうだばあだしぎれい？
Daddy, am I breddy?

Panel 4
もちろんだ。ジェニファーコネリーそっくりだよ
Of course. You're just like Jennifer Connelly.

Panel 5
あの~~~ つかぬことをうかがいますがそれは本気でおっしゃってるんで？
Umm~~, this is an awkward question but are you serious?

えっ？
Eh?

Panel 6
ジーッ
Jii - Silence

Panel 7
ああ
Aah

ハッハッ
Ha ha

ハッハッ
Ha ha

Panel 8
ブルックシールズだ
I mean Brooke Shields.

111
Panel 1
どーゆー神経しとるんだあの親父は！
What kind of nerves does her father have?!

たしかめてみましょう
Let's make sure.

Panel 2
すみませんが これにお嬢さんの似顔絵を描いていただけませんか
Excuse me, would you draw the young lady's portrait on this?

はっ？
Huh?

Panel 3
まあ 絵は得意だから
Well, pictures are my strong point.

サラサラ
Sara sara - Rustle

Panel 5
親の欲目とはよく言うが
You could call it a father's bias.

ここまでくると犯罪ですね
Going this far is a crime.

Panel 6
だいたいC国の警察はよくあんなのを野放しにしてると思わんか
What do the police of C-country think of of leaving this to take care of itself?

何をゴチャゴチャ言ってるんです。わたしたちはバンコラン少佐に会いに来たんだが
What are you grumbling about? We came to meet Major Bancoran.

112
Panel 1
あっそうか
Ah, I see.

いや
Well

ハッハッ
Ha ha

バンコランは留守でして
Bancoran is out.

Panel 2
なんだ
What?

ぼくは奴の友人ですが悪いことは言わない。あんな男に近づかない方がいいですよ
Although he's my friend and I don't want to say bad things about him, it's better not to get close to that man.

Panel 3
なぜ
Why?

ご存知ない
Don't you know?

フッ
Hu

Panel 4
あんな女グセの悪い奴はいませんよ。かわいい女の子とみると人の恋人でもちょっかいをだして さんざんもて遊んだあげくボロゾーキンみたいに捨てるんです
He's a terrible philanderer. When he sees a cute girl, even if they're someone's lover he'll make a pass at them, play with them horribly, then finally throw them away like trash.

Panel 5
まじめそうに見えたが
But he looked so serious.

仕事はまじめですよ。でも恋愛に関しては節操のない男です
He's serious about his work. But he has no honor when it comes to love.

Panel 6
勝手なことを言いおって
He's just saying what he wants.

Panel 7
女の子を男の子と言いかえたらその通りだね
If you replaced "girl" with "boy", it's true.

ゴホッゴホッ
Goho goho - Cough cough

113
Panel 1
まったく浮気な奴でして 以前チラっと聞いたことですが
He's completely fickle; I've heard a bit before.

Panel 2
なんでも一日に全然別の5人の女の子とデートをして 全員とベッドを共にしたというんですよ
Every day he takes 5 completely different girls on a date, and takes all of them to bed.

Panel 3
へーえ
Heeeh

ゴホゴホゴホゴホ
Goho goho goho goho - Cough cough cough cough

Panel 4
それはすごい
That's terrible.

それだけ体力があるということを言いたかったんでしょーが そんなことを自慢すること自体性格破綻者の証拠ですよ
I want to say he has a lot of stamina, but that he boasts about it is  proof he has a personality disorder.

Panel 5
そんなことがあったの
Is that so?

いっ いやちがうんだ あれはおまえと出会うずっと前のことで！
N-no, he's wrong. That was way before I met you!

Panel 6
浮気者ーっ！！
Cheateeer!!

ギャーッ！！
Gyaaah!!

114
Panel 1
となりの部屋がさわがしいようだが
The room next door is noisy.

テレビでしょう
It's the television.

何をやってるんだ
What are they doing?

Panel 2
そういうことだがエリザベスどうするね
Considering that, what will you do, Elizabeth?

Panel 3
それだけもでるってこどだべ あだしは気にしないべ
Thad just means he's bobular. I don't mind.

Panel 4
ブスはしぶとい
Stubborn troll.

はあ
Yeah.

Panel 5
実はそれだけではないのです
Actually, that's not all.

Panel 6
バンコランは水虫でイボ痔でおまけに脱腸をわずらっているのです！
Bancoran suffers from athlete's foot, hemorrhoids and, on top of that, a hernia!

Panel 7
あだしをおんなじだ
So do I.

ダハハハ
Dahahaha

115
Panel 1
ウガーッ ドブスはドしぶといーっ！！
Ugaaah, super stubborn super troll!!

そうですね
Isn't she?

Panel 2
あいづちばかりうっとらんでおまえも協力せんか！
Don't just make sounds agreeing with me absentmindedly, you help, too!

協力って。。。
"Help"...

Panel 3
あっ そうだ。あなた漫画は描けますか？
Ah, I see. Can you draw manga?

あんだあ？
You are?

Panel 4
バンコラン少佐は漫画が大好きで 漫画を描ける人としか交際しないんです
Major Bancoran loves manga, so he won't associate with anyone but people who can draw.

たどえば？
For example?

Panel 5
たとえばですね
For example...

カリカリ
Kari kari - Scratch scratch

Panel 6
この足誰の足？
Whose leg is this leg?

Panel 7
あっしの足です
It's my leg!
*In Japanese, he uses "asshi" to refer to himself, and "ashi" means "leg".

116
Panel 1
こんなもん子供にも描けるべ
Even a child could draw this.

ダッハッハッ
Dahaha

自信をもたせてどーするーっ！！
How is boosting her self-confidence going to help?!!

Panel 2
こうなりゃ奥の手バンコランはホモという恐ろしい病気で女性を愛せない体なのです！
If it's come to this, I'll use my trump card. Bancoran is a terribly sick homo who cannot love a woman!

Panel 3
そんな病気あだしが治してやるべ！
I will cure his illness!

Panel 4
ウガーッ 最後の手段だ。バンコランのマンションに集合ー！！
Ugaaah, my last method! Gather in Bancoran's apartment!!

Panel 5
お呼びですか！
You called?!

ダッ
Da - Stomp

わっ 早い
Wah, that was fast.

Panel 6
このド不細工な生物をふくろだたきにしろ！
Beat up this super homely creature!

Panel 7
おい君 娘に何を
Hey, what are you...?

バンコランは情報員という危険な職業についてるからいつもねらわれてるんです。いつこんな風に襲われるかわからないんですよ！
Since Bancoran is in the dangerous occupation of information agent he's always being targeted! There's no telling when she could suddenly be attacked!

117
Panel 1
ダーッ
Daa - Stomp

Panel 2
グッ！
Gu! - Grab!

Panel 3
ベシャッ！
Besha! - Whack!

Panel 4
オラオラーッ！！
Hey hey!!

ドカドカ
Doka doka - Pow pow

Panel 5
片づいただ
I disposed of them.

うががが
Ugagagah

Panel 6
プッツン
Puttsun - Break

かんにん袋の緒が切れた音
The sound of the cord of his bag of patience snapping

Panel 7
このドメンター！！
You no-good girl!!

パーン！
Paan! - Slaap!

118
Panel 1
おのれの国には鏡というものがないのか このドグサレが！
Aren't there any mirrors in your country, you worthless person!

Panel 3
ちょっ ちょっと そんなことをしたら何もかも水の泡に
Wa-wait, if you do that it'll all be in vain!

男に言い寄れる面かどうか東シナ海のダボハゼにでも相談してこい！ナンジャモンジャーっ！！
Talk to the stupid goby fish of the East China Sea whether you can pursue a man with a face like that! Fringetree!!

Panel 4
ずでき
Beaudiful.

Panel 5
えっ？！
Eh?!

Panel 6
あだし生まれて初めで男の人にただかれただ
Thad's the first dime a man has struck me since I was born.

ズイ
Zui - Thrust

Panel 7
たぐましい男は大好きだ！嫁さんにしでぐれろー！
I love sdrong men! Make me your bride!

わーっ？！
Waaah?!

119
Panel 1
じょっ 冗談じゃない年の差を考えろ！
Do, don't joke around, think of the age difference!

愛があれば年の差は関係ないだ！
Love knows no age!

Panel 2
愛なんかあるか！おい バンコランなんとか
What do you mean love?! Hey, Bancoran, do something!

ギッ！
Gi! - Squeak!

Panel 3
ゴロゴロ
Goro goro - Roll roll

Panel 4
づがまえだー！
I'll catch you!

ギャーッ！！
Gyaaah!!

Panel 5
結婚しでぐれろー！
Marry meee!

浮気者ーっ！！
Cheateeer!!

いったいどうなってるんだ
What in the world is going on?

Panel 6
作者の立場から一言
A word from the author's position.

Panel 7
だめだこりゃ
This is useless.

よっ決まった
That settles it.

パチパチ
Pachi pachi - Clap clap

120
Panel 1
おまけ
Bonus

Panel 2
反抗期
Rebellious Age

Panel 3
カミナリはこわいねん
Thunder is scary.

Panel 4
それがどーしたの
So what?

Panel 5
風呂屋にヒコーキが落ちたよ
An airplane fell in the public bath.

Panel 6
それがどーしたの
So what?

Panel 7
ガンコ者
Stubborn Person

Panel 8
貿易まさつを知ってる？
You know trade friction?

Panel 9
ゴシゴシゴシ
Goshi goshi goshi - Rub rub

Panel 10
ちがうよ。円高による対米輸出の大幅黒字だよ
No. It's a massive surplus of US exports because of a strong yen.

Panel 11
ゴシゴシゴシゴシ
Goshi goshi goshi goshi - Rub rub rub

121
Panel 1
だじゃれ
Pun

Panel 2
だじゃれを言うのはだれじゃ！
Who is saying a pun?!
*In Japanese, "dajare" is "pun", and "dare" is "who". He says "dajare ... dare ja!".

Panel 4
君だ！
You are!

Panel 5
わーい
Yaaay

Panel 6
だじゃれ2
Pun 2

Panel 7
となりのあき地にヘーができたよ
A heh was built next to the vacant lot.

Panel 8
ヘー
Heh

Panel 10
わーい
Yaaay

ある惨劇/おわり
A Tragedy / End

122
カンカンカン
Kan kan kan - Clack clack clack