53
ダジャレの帝王
パタリロ!212
King of Puns
Patalliro! 212

54
Panel 1
アメリカ
America

Panel 2
うわあああ！！
Uwaaaah!!

Panel 3
ドッ
Do - Thud

Panel 6
クックックッ
Ku ku ku - Chuckle

55
Panel 1
今度はゼペッティーだと？！
It was Zeppetti this time?!

はっ
Yes.

Panel 2
これでマフィアのボスばかり5人目か
Doesn't this make the 5th mafia boss?

Panel 3
死にざまは同じか？
The conditions of their deaths are the same?

ええ脳の血管が焼き切れたようになってるそうです
Yes, it seems the blood vessels in their brains burned out.

Panel 4
市警も困ってるだろうな こう続くんじゃ偶然とは思えんし
The city police are worried, too. I doubt this is happening by chance.

Panel 5
かと言って脳の血管を焼き切って人を殺す 道具や方法があるとも思えない
I can't think of a tool or way to kill people that would burn out the blood vessels in their brains.

うーむ
Yeah.

Panel 6
不思議な事件もあるものだ
It's a mysterious case.

56
Panel 1
ガチャ
Gacha - Click

ギッ
Gi - Squeak

Panel 2
カッカッ
Ka ka - Tap tap

Panel 3
ドサッ
Dosa - Thud

Panel 4
痛い
Ow

Panel 5
おまえ男のくせに尻の骨がとがってるな
The bones in your butt are sharp for a guy.

な。。。っ！パタリロ？！
Wha...! Patalliro?!

Panel 6
何をしている！
What are you doing?!

すわってる
Sitting.

Panel 7
見ればわかる何か用か！
I can tell that by looking. What did you come here for?!

面白いことはないか
Isn't there anything fascinating?

57
Panel 1
ええっ？
Eeh?

Panel 2
最近たいくつでなあ 生活に刺激がなくてこまってるんだ
I've been bred recently. I've been annoyed because life has been dull.

ポリポリ
Pori pori - Scratch scratch

Panel 3
おまえの所に来れば何か面白い話が聞けるかと思ってな
I thought if I came to your place I'd hear some fascinating conversation.

それだけのためにわざわざアメリカまで来たのか？
You came all the way to America for that?

Panel 4
面白いことがあるならM78星雲までだって行くぞ
I'd go as far as the M78 nebula for something interesting.

ヒマな奴だ
You have a lot of free time.

Panel 5
ほら
Here

パサッ
Pasa - Rustle

Panel 6
マフィアのボスが次々に変死をとげてるんだ 変わった事件だが調べてみるか
One after another of the mafia bosses is meeting an unnatural death. Want to try and investigate this strange incident?

Panel 7
脳の血管が焼き切れて？
ふーん
The blood vessels in their brains were burnt out?
Hmm

Panel 8
しかしこんなのは警察の仕事だろう CIAがくらむ必要があるのか？
But this is police work. Does the CIA need to be involved?

58
Panel 1
マフィアの主な資金源は麻薬だ 最近 中南米の麻薬の産地の組織が国内に独自の販売ルートを作ろうと画策しているらしい
The mafia's main source of funding is drugs. Recently, it seems they're planning to build a peculiar sales route to the drug production center in Latin America.

Panel 2
今回の事件もそれに関係があるかもしれないんだ
These incidents may be related to that.

麻薬か それじゃ情報部もほっとけんな
Drugs? Then the information bureau can't leave it alone.

Panel 3
しかしなあ
However...

Panel 4
マフィア同士の戦争か もうひとつ首をつっこんでみようという意欲がわかんなあ
A mafia war has sprung up? I don't know why but it seems like someone else is meddling.

あっそうだ
Ah, I see.

Panel 5
君にピッタリかもしれない わたしのアパートの近くに面白い所ができたんだ
It's probably perfect for you. An interesting place was built next to my apartment.

Panel 6
おまえが面白いと言うと小さい女の子が裸で踊ったりするのか？
If you think it's interesting then is it nude little girls dancing?

Panel 7
ダラッ
Dara - Drip

Panel 8
いやそんな場所ではない
No, it's not that kind of place.

ジュルッ
Juru - Drool

59
Panel 1
でももし本当にそんな所があったら
But if that kind of place was real...

Panel 2
妄想
Delusions

Panel 3
ああ~っ 全財産使いはたすまで通いつめてしまいそうだ~っ！！
Aa~h, I'd frequent it until my entire fortune was gone~~~!!

ロリータロリータロリータロリータロリータロリータ
Lolita lolita lolita lolita lolita lolita

変態ぶりは変わっとらんな
You haven't changed your perverted ways.

Panel 4
誰が変態だ！
Who's a pervert?!

Panel 5
おまえだおまえ
You are. You are.

くやしーっ
Mortified

Panel 6
そうじゃないんだ ダジャレを教える塾ができたんだ
It's not that. It's a school for teaching puns.

ダジャレ？！
Puns?!

Panel 7
ダジャレと言うとあのダジャレか？ダジャレーってフランスのワインとかじゃないのか
When you say puns...? Isn't Beaujolais a French wine?
*In Japanese, "dajare" is "pun" and bojoree" is "beaujolais".

Panel 8
ちがう本当のダジャレだ
つまり。。。
No, real puns.
In short...

60
Panel 1
つまりダジャレは人間を幸せにします
In short, puns make people happy.

Panel 2
ダジャレを聞けば笑いますね 笑うということは大きく息を吸って吐くこと要するに深呼吸です
When they hear a pun they laugh. You have to breathe deep to laugh, in other words take deep breaths.

ダジャレについて
About Puns

Panel 3
新鮮な空気を吸っておまけに胸襟を開きますから健康にとてもよろしい笑う門には福がくるんです
Laughing is good for your health because you breathe fresh air in addition to opening your heart. Laughter is the gate to good fortune.

ザワザワ
Zawa zawa - Chatter chatter

Panel 4
ここは小学校じゃないか
Isn't this an elementary school?

放課後 教室を借りてやってるんだ
The classroom is rented after school.

Panel 5
それでは皆さんここにある物を使ってダジャレを言ってみてください
Now then, everyone, please make up some puns using these ingredients.

61
Panel 1
それでは私リンゴを使って
Then I'll use this apple.

どうぞ
Go ahead.

Panel 2
私 貧しいのでとても忙しいんです！
I'm poor and so busy!

Panel 3
リンゴーひまなし
Poor men have no time.
*In Japanese, "ringo" is "apple" and "binbou" is "poor".

Panel 4
ホーッ
Hooh

貧乏ひまなしとひっかけてね
うむうむ
Ah, poor men have no time, is it?
Yes, yes.

Panel 5
それじゃ あたしはナスでやります
Then I'll use an eggplant.

はいどうぞ
Yes, go ahead.

Panel 6
あたしの姉さん看護婦です
ナース
My sister is a nurse.
A nurse.
*"Nasu" is "eggplant" in Japanese, and "na-su" is "nurse".

Panel 7
あーっ
Aaah

うーん
Yeah.

Panel 8
あなたは初心者だから。。。見たままを素直に表現しているのはいいんですが。。。
You're a beginner so... So it's better to be straightforward with what you present...

62
Panel 1
見たまますぎるというのはいけませんね やはりそこに余韻というか趣のようなものがなくては。。。でもなかなかよろしいですよ
You can't be too straightforward. Of course, there's nothing like lingering enthusiasm... But, well done.

はい ありがとうございました
Yes, thank you very much.

Panel 2
余韻と趣
Lingering enthusiasm.

カリカリ
Kari kari - Scratch scratch

Panel 3
ええっほんとにやってるのか！
Eeeh, he really did it!

Panel 4
信じてなかったのか？
You didn't believe me?

だって おまえはああ言ったけどこんなバカなことを真剣にやってる連中がいるとは思わなかった！
I don't think I mentioned it, but there was a group of people seriously doing this stupid thing!

Panel 5
おい聞こえるぞ
Hey, he can hear you.

聞こえたっていいじゃないか ダジャレなんか 教える方も教える方だが教わる方も教わる方だ！
I don't care if he can hear me. As far as puns, those who teach should learn how to teach and those who are taught should be taught how to learn!

Panel 6
廊下でさわいでるのは誰です
Who is making a fuss in the hallway?

ガラッ
Gara - Rattle

Panel 7
おまえが張本人か ダジャレは習ったりするものじゃない！それで商売しようとはいい根性だな！
Are you the ringleader? Puns aren't learned! Do you have the guts for that business?!

63
Panel 1
ムッ
Hmph

素人の方にとやかく言われたくないですね
I don't need to listen to the complaints of an amateur.

Panel 2
ニャニイ？！
Whaaat?!

Panel 3
ぼくがダジャレの素人だと~おまえそれはティラノザウルスにむかって あなた爬虫類の素人ですねと言うようなもんだぞ~
If your calling me an amateur with pins, that's like saying a tyrannosaur is an amateur reptile~.

ダジャレができるとでも？
You think you can handle puns?

Panel 4
戸でもドアでも持ってこい！
Whether it's a handle or a knob, bring it!
*In the original Japanese, he uses "to demo" at the end of his sentence, which would be like challenging whether he can do puns at the end of his sentence. Patalliro responds with "to demo doa demo". "To" can be the Japanese word for door, "doa" is the 'English' based variation. "Whether door or door".

Panel 5
ピクッ
Piku - Shock

Panel 6
これがダジャレのお手本だというのをかましてみせるわいっ！
I'll take a bite of this example of a pun!

ガラッ
Gara - Rattle

Panel 7
ナスか
Eggplant?

Panel 8
どうせあたしの母親はナスよ！好きなようにしてちょうだい！
Anyhow, my mother is a nurse! She does as she pleases!

Panel 9
つまりあなたのナスがママ
In other words, I'm at her mercy.
*In Japanese, "nasu ga mama" is "at your mercy". "Mama" is also commonly used for mom.

64
Panel 1
おおっ！
Ooh!

Panel 2
次はこのトウモロコシを使って
Next I'll use this corn.

ちょっと。。。！
Wait...!

Panel 3
今のダジャレはすばらしかったけどそれがトウモロコシに見えるんですか
Your pun was excellent but where do you see and corn?

大きいトウモロシじゃありませんか
This isn't a huge corn?

Panel 4
大コーン
Huge corn.
*In Japanese, "ko-n" can mean "corn". The kanji for "big" can be read as "dai". Putting "daiko-n" together makes it look like "daikon", which is the word for radish.

Panel 5
おーっ
Oooh

Panel 6
ガーン
Gaan - Bam

Panel 7
何という力わざ！強引なようでいて微塵も不自然さを感じさせない！みごとだ！
What power! It doesn't even feel forced or even a bit unnatural! Amazing!

Panel 8
人にばかりやらせてないで君もやったらどうだ
Don't make me do it alone, what about you?

65
Panel 1
たとえばこのジャガイモ
For example, this potato.

Panel 2
ジャガイモ
Potato.

Panel 3
ジャガイモのには巻かれろ
Don't kick the spuds.
*In Japanese, "jagaimo" is "potato". "Nagaimono ni ha makarero" is a saying meaning "if you can't beat them, join them".

Panel 4
おお
Oooh

さすが！
I knew it!

ガーン
Gaan - Reel

Panel 5
ぼくが思いつきで与えたテーマをあざやかに切り返した！知的でしかも品格のあるダジャレだ！
I gave you a theme and you made a brilliant counterattack! An intelligent and dignified pun!

Panel 6
こいつは！
You're...!

Panel 7
この子は！
This kid is...!

Panel 8
ただ者じゃない！
not an ordinary person!

Panel 9
君とはゆっくり話がしてみたいな 大使館へ来ないか
I'd like to have a long talk with you. Why don't you come to the embassy?

大使館？
Embassy?

なんか忘れられてるな
He's forgetting something.

66
Panel 1
アメリカ大使館
American Embassy

Panel 2
まさか君が王様だったなんて
No way, you're a king?

Panel 3
好きでなったわけじゃないよ
There's no reason not to like me.

ハッハッ
Ha ha

殿下
Your Highness

Panel 4
コーヒーはレギュラーですか インスタントですか ケーキはどうしますか
Regular coffee? Or instant? How about the cake?

Panel 5
こら客人の前で耳うちはやめんかい
Hey, don't whisper in front of our guest.

Panel 6
面会謝絶
No visitors.
*"Yamenkai" is generally asking someone to stop doing something. "Menkai shazetsu" is "no visitors".

Panel 7
おみごと
Splendid.

パチパチ
Pachi pachi - Clap clap

67
Panel 1
身分の高い王様なのにダジャレの教養があってほんとに君は気さくな人だ
Even though you're a high-ranking king you're well-cultured in puns. You're a good-humored person.

Panel 2
二期作
Two crops a year.
*"Kisaku" can mean "good-humored". "Ni-kisaku" can mean semiannual crop.

Panel 3
うーん米の輸入問題などいろいろある中で二期作なぞは奥ゆかしい
Yeah,  with rice importation issues and the like, it's one of the crops we produce a modest amount of biannually.

うんうん
Yeah yeah

Panel 4
ぼくはフェリックス
I'm Felix.

Panel 5
ぼくはパタリロ
I'm Patalliro.

Panel 6
君とは親友づきあいできそうな気がするぞ
I feel like I could be good friends with you.

ハッハッ
Ha ha

世界は広いな 殿下と気のあう人物が現れた
It's a large world. His Highness has found a soul mate.

Panel 7
親友づきあいだってさ
They're like close friends.

友だちの少ない殿下にとうとう親友ができるかな
Will His Highness, who has few friends, finally be able to make a best friend?

Panel 8
バンコラン少佐は親友じゃないのかな
Isn't Major Bancoran his best friend?

68
Panel 1
親友というより天敵だろう
I'd say they're natural enemies rather than best friends.

Panel 2
点滴
Intravenous drip.
*In Japanese, "tenteki" can mean "natural enemies" or "intravenous drip".

Panel 3
うつっちゃった
Oops, I did it.

うーん
Yup.

Panel 4
それ以来フェリックスはちょくちょく大使館に遊びにくるようになった
After that Felix often showed up at the Embassy to play.

ぼくは早くに両親を亡くしてね
I lost both of my parents early.

Panel 5
そのせいでいじめられたこともあったけど
Because of that I was picked on a lot.

来い！なぐってやる！
Come over here! I'm going to beat you up!

誰？！ぼく？！
Who?! Me?!

Panel 6
ぼくをなぐるの？！ぼく？！
You're going to hit me?! Me?!

Panel 7
リングの上でなぐりあうのは？！ぼくサー？！
Don't we need to be in the ring to exchange blows?! Like boxers?!
*In Japanese, "boku" can be a masculine version of "I". "Bokusa-" sounds like "boxer".

Panel 8
アハアハアハ
Aha aha aha

69
Panel 1
ボクサーはミックスジュースが大好き！ミキサー！
Boxers loved mixed juice! Mixers!

Panel 2
アハアハアハ
Aha aha aha

Panel 3
おまえ面白い奴だな
You're an interesting guy.

その時ぼくは自分にダジャレの才能があることに気がついたんだ
I realized I had a talent for puns then.

Panel 4
それからも苦しいことはあったけどダジャレの技術を磨きながら何とかのりこえてきた そして今じゃそれを仕事にしているわけさ
It was hard after that but I made it somehow while polishing my pun-making skills, and now I'm doing this job.

Panel 5
ダジャレひとすじの人生か
A life of puns?

たいしたものだ
They're important.

ダジャレをふくめて笑いには科学的な側面もあってね
There's a scientific side to laughter, including puns.

Panel 6
以前テレビで見たんだけどどこかの国の婦人が原因もないのに体中に激痛が走る奇病にかかったんだって
I saw it on television before, but there was a strange disease that was causing pain in the bodies of women around the world without a cause.

Panel 7
そこで婦人は日本に行って極小の電極を脳にうめこむ手術を受けたんだ 先端技術では日本はすごいからね
So women went to Japan and had micro-electrodes implanted in their brains. Because Japan has high-technology.

70
Panel 1
痛みが走るとリモコンのスイッチを入れる すると電極の作用でエンドルフィンという麻薬に似た物質が分泌されて痛みを中和する
They turned a remote on when they felt pain and drugs similar to endorphins would be secreted by the electrodes, and neutralize the pain.

Panel 2
それで婦人は普通の生活を送れるようになり喜んで帰っていったっていうドキュメンタリーだったけど
With that the women were able to live ordinary lives, and in the documentary they were happy to return home.

Panel 3
マラソン選手が長い間走っているとやっぱりエンドルフィンが分泌されてフワーッといい気持ちになることがあるんだって
When marathon runners have been sprinting for a long time, endorphins are secreted and they start to get a good, weightless feeling.

聞いたことがあるランナーズハイとかいうやつだな
I've heard of it being called a "runner's high".

Panel 4
ところが先日笑うことによってもこのエンドルフィンが分泌されることが発見されたんだ
However, I discovered the other day that endorphins are also secreted when you laugh.

Panel 5
なんと！
What?!

Panel 6
激痛を中和する麻薬のような物質だよ と言っても人間の体で作られる物だからもちろん中毒性や危険な副作用は全然ない そういう物質が笑うことで分泌されるんだ
Even if it's like a drug and neutralizes pain it's made by the human body, so there's no poisoning or dangerous side effects at all. A substance like that can be made by laughing.

71
Panel 1
だから人は笑っていやなことを忘れたり幸せな気分になったりするんだ！つまり笑いというのは神様が人間にあたえてくれたすばらしいプレゼントなんだよ！
So if a person laughs and forgets about the bad things they'll feel happy! In short, laughter is a wonderful gift that God has given to people!

Panel 2
笑いにそういう哲学的な要素があるとは知らなかった
I didn't know there was such a philosophical element to laughter.

つまり
In short

Panel 3
上品でエスプリのきいたパーティージョークで笑おうと動物のこっけいなしぐさを見て笑おうと
When you're laughing at a refined party joke, or laughing at something funny an animal did,

もちろんダジャレを聞いて笑おうと
or, of course, laughing at a pun,

Panel 4
笑いはすべて善なんだ！笑うことこそ福音であり人に笑いをあたえる者は神の御心を伝える伝道師のような存在なんだ！
all laughter is good! A person who makes people laugh is like a missionary who spreads the word of God!

Panel 5
すばらしい！
Splendid!

バン
Ban - Bam

Panel 6
君の話を聞いて自分の今までの生き方がまちがっていなかったことを確信したぞ！
Hearing what you've said, I'm convinced the way I lived my life wasn't wrong!

同志よ！
A kindred spirit!

72
Panel 1
これからも世界に笑いをふりまこう！
From now on let's lavish the world with laughter!

よーし！
All right!

Panel 2
笑い笑い笑い笑い笑い笑い笑い笑い
Laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

パッ
Pa - Toss

Panel 3
パッ
Pa - Toss

笑い笑い笑い笑い笑い笑い笑い笑い
Laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

Panel 4
ちがうでしょ
Not quite.

ポン
Pon - Poof

Panel 5
しっつれーしましたー！
Excuse meee!

Panel 6
チャカチャンリンチャンリン
Chan chanrin chanrin

Panel 7
息がピッタリ！
We have great chemistry!

ハッハッ
Ha ha

いいコンビだ
We're a good combination.

Panel 8
そんなある日
Then One Day

73
Panel 1
エンドルフィンという物質のことをもっとアピールしなくちゃいけないと思うんだ
I think I need to talk up endorphins more.

Panel 2
麻薬のような物質を頭の中でつくることができるんだとわかれば青少年がうかつに麻薬に手を出すことも。。。
That young people take drugs carelessly when they find out it's possible to make a substance like them in the mind...

Panel 3
いや。。。まあいいけど。。。
Well... That's enough...

チラッ
Chira - Flicker

Panel 4
それじゃ今日はこれで
Then, that's it for today.

帰るのか？
You're going home?

Panel 5
いつもみたいに食事をしていったらどうだ なんなら泊まっても
How about having some food like usual? You could even stay the night.

いや今日はそうもしていられない
No, I can't do that today.

Panel 6
誰かと会うのか？
Are you meeting someone?

ギクッ
Giku - Shock

Panel 7
そんなんじゃないよ ほんとに今日はだめなんだ
It's not that. It's just no good today.

Panel 8
さよなら
Farewell.

74
Panel 1
あれ 帰っちゃったんですか お食事の用意をしたのに
Huh, he went home? Even though we prepared dinner...

殿下の好物のうな茶です うなぎのお茶漬け
His Highness' favorite dish, broiled eel. Eel over tea on rice.

Panel 2
誰かと約束があるんだ
He had an appointment with someone.

えっ？
Eh?

Panel 3
きっと他に友だちがいてそいつと会うんだ
I'm sure he's meeting another friend.

いいじゃありませんか
Isn't that fine?

Panel 4
もしフェリックスさんが女性で殿下の恋人でその女が殿下にないしょで他の男性と会うというなら問題ですが
The problem is that if Felix was a woman, His Highness' lover would be meeting other men behind his back.

Panel 5
フェリックスさんは男性でたんなるお友だちでしょう
Felix is a man, you're just friends.

誰と約束があってもいいじゃないですか
Isn't it fine if he meets someone else?

Panel 6
えっまさか
Eh, no way.

Panel 7
バンコラン少佐が伝染りましたか
Did Major Bancoran infect you?

あんな変質者と一緒にするな
Don't confuse me with that pervert.

Panel 8
クシュッ
Kushu - Achoo

75
Panel 1
ぼくは彼を親友と思ってるんだ
I think of him as my best friend.

きっとむこうもそう思ってますよ
I'm sure he feels the same.

Panel 2
なのにどうして他の友だちと会ったりするんだ！
Then why is he meeting other friends?!

わからないなあ
I don't know.

Panel 3
わからなくもないぞ 小さい女の子なんかは仲のいい友だちが他の子とおしゃべりしてるのを見てやきもちをやくそうだ
I kind of understand. It's like when a young girl sees a friend she's close to chattering with other children and gets jealous.

幼いから友情と恋愛感情がごちゃまぜなんだな
Because they're young, feelings of friendship and love get mixed up.

Panel 4
殿下の場合初めて親友ができたわけだから
This is the first time His Highness has had a close friend.

そうか友情問題に関しては免疫がないわけだ
I see. He isn't immune to friendship problems.

Panel 5
フロイト流に分析すると
If you analyzed it from Freud's perspective...

人の悩みを井戸端会議のネタにするな！
Don't use a person's distress for gossip!

Panel 6
どんな奴と会ってるのか確かめてやる！
I'll find out what kind of guy he's meeting!

ダッ
Da - Tap

あっ殿下！
Ah, Your Highness!

76
Panel 2
キイーッ
Kiii - Scree

Panel 3
ここでいい あとは歩いていく
This is fine. I'll walk from here.

ボス
Boss

Panel 4
お一人で大丈夫ですか 近ごろぶっそうな事件が
Ooh, you came alone? There's been dangerous incidents recently.

おいおい
Hey.

Panel 5
殺されたトンマどもと一緒にするな オレは殺し屋からたたきあげたその道のプロだぞ
Don't lump me with the deceased Tonma. I worked my way up from a professional killer.

Panel 6
「人斬りフェラガノ」の腕はなまっちゃいないじゃあな
Don't underestimate the skill of "Manslayer Ferragamo".

コツコツ
Kotsu kotsu - Steady

はあ。。。
Yeah...

77
Panel 1
フンフンフンフン
Hun hun hun hun - Sniff sniff sniff sniff

Panel 2
コツコツ
Kotsu kotsu - Steady

Panel 3
調べた通りだ 毎週水曜日レストランで食事をしてその帰り自宅までの一ブロックを散歩して帰る
Just as I investigated. Every Wednesday he eats at a restaurant and strolls one block back to his home.

Panel 4
コツコツ
Kotsu kotsu - Steady

Panel 5
ピタッ
Pita - Stop

Panel 6
そこに隠れている奴出てこい
Whoever is hiding over there, come out.

Panel 7
チュー
Chuu - Squeak

78
Panel 1
フェラガノさんですね
Mr. Ferragamo?

Panel 2
オレの商売がたきを始末してくれているのはおまえか おかげでナワバリが大きくなって喜んでいる所だ
Do you have some business to settled with me? Thanks to you my jurisdiction has become quite large.

Panel 3
あなたもすぐ死ぬことになる
You will die soon, too.

Panel 4
甘いな あらかじめ拳銃を手にしていればおまえにも勝ち目があったかもしれん
Don't be naive. If you already had a pistol out maybe you'd have a good chance of winning.

Panel 5
だがこれから引き抜くんじゃまにあわん オレの洋剣は拳銃より早いんだ
But you don't have anything drawn. My knives will be faster than your pistol.

Panel 7
ターッ
Taa - Tap

Panel 8
おっ！
Oh!

キーッ
Kii - Scree

79
Panel 1
ズブッ
Zubu - Thrust

Panel 2
クンクン
Kun kun - Sniff sniff

Panel 3
くっさ~
Stinky~

Panel 4
えーいカビのはえた関西ギャグを！
Eeeh, don't do out-dated gags from Kansai!

Panel 5
あそこにいるのはフェリックスさんじゃありませんか
Isn't that Mr. Felix over there?

集音器をかせ！
Set up the sound collector!

Panel 6
ゴソゴソ
Goso goso - Rustle

Panel 7
ドン！
Don! - Bam!

Panel 8
残念ながらぼくの武器は拳銃じゃない
Unfortunately, my weapon isn't a pistol.

ほう？
Hoh?

Panel 9
えっ？！
Eh?!

友だちとの会話にしちゃ変ですね
This is a strange conversation for friends.

80
Panel 1
ジリッ
Jiri - Inch forward

Panel 2
体術に長けているようにも見えんが。。。お手並み拝見といくか
You don't look like a Taijutsu expert... What skill do you have?

Panel 5
ゴジラの時計は今5時ラ！
Godzilla's watch says 5 o'clock!
*In Japanese, Godzilla is "gojira". Five is "go", telling time is "ji". There's also a store called "Go-ji-ra" in Fukuoka.

Panel 6
ズーン
Zuun - Boom

Panel 7
ズーン
Zuun - Boom

Panel 8
チャリーン
Chariin - Ching

Panel 9
クジラの時計は今9時ラ！
Kujira's watch says 9 o'clock!
*Same basis, "ku" can be "nine". Kujira is the stage name for Wakako Matsumoto.

うわああ！！
Uwaaah!!

Panel 10
ゴリラがイタリアで買い物をしたこれいくら？！
How much does Godzilla spend in Italy?!

Panel 11
5リラ！
5 lira!

81
Panel 1
頭が割れるー！！
I have a splitting headache...!!

これは。。。
This is...

ハッ
Hah

Panel 2
そうか ダジャレの暗黒面！
I see, the dark side of puns!

Panel 3
すばらしいダジャレは人を幸せにするがどーしよーもなくつまらない ダジャレは精神の活力をうばい最後には脳細胞を破壊してしまうのだ！
Great puns can make people happy but what about when they're boring? Bad puns drain people's energy away and destroys their brain cells!

Panel 4
ぼくはふだんからダジャレに親しんでいるからあまり影響を受けないんだ！フェリックス！
Because I'm always enjoying bad puns they don't influence me so much! Felix!

ダッ
Da - Tap

Panel 5
ハッ？！
Hah?!

Panel 6
マフィアのボスたちを殺していたのは君か！バカなまねはやまえろ！
You're the one who has been killing mafia bosses! Stop this foolishness!

Panel 7
パタリロ？！邪魔をするな！
Patalliro?! Don't get in the way!

Panel 8
なぜそんなことをする！
Why are you doing this?!

Panel 9
ぼくの父は麻薬Gメンだったんだ
My father was a drug hunter.

82
Panel 1
しかしある時マフィアに正体がバレて母もろとも殺されてしまった！そのかたきをうつんだ！
But, at some point his true identity was exposed to the mafia and he was killed with my mother! I'm striking down their killers!

Panel 2
バカッ！こんなことを続けていたら暗黒面から抜け出せなくなり善良なダジャレを言えなくなってしまうぞ！
Idiot! If you keep this up you won't be able to slip away from the dark side and you'll only be able to tell bad puns!

Panel 3
邪魔をするなら
If you get in my way...

ギュッ
Gyu - Squeeze

Panel 4
イモ屋の娘が年をとった！ああふけた！
The potato seller's daughter aged! Aah, she ripened!

Panel 5
ズーン
Zuun - Boom

Panel 6
ガクッ
Gaku - Reel

Panel 7
言ってもわからんようだな
You don't seem to understand no matter what I say.

Panel 8
ならばパタリロ印本家本元超弩級ダジャレをおみまいするぞ！
If it's come to this, I'll call on Patalliro's original super bad puns!

Panel 9
ケツメドとは何か！
What is an asshole?!

83
Panel 2
尻ません！
I don't hole!

Panel 3
ガーン
Gaan - Bam

Panel 4
お手！おすわり！
Shake! Sit!

Panel 5
チンチン！
Beg!
*In Japanese, "chinchin" can be an animal begging or "penis".

Panel 6
ガーン
Gaan - Baam

Panel 8
ドッ
Do - Thud

Panel 9
ハアハア
Haah haah

Panel 10
勝った！
I won!

84
Panel 1
すさまじい戦いだった
It was a terrible battle.

Panel 2
フェリックスはたしかにダジャレの名人だがパタリロはすべてのギャグに精通した天才なのだ フェリックスの言葉だけのダジャレに比べて自らの肉体を駆使したパタリロのギャグははるかに強烈な破壊力を発揮したのだった
Certainly, Felix was an expert of puns, but Patalliro was a genius familiar with all gags. The way Patalliro used his whole body had incredible destructive power compared to the way Felix just used his words.

Panel 3
で 有罪にはなったけど殺した相手が相手だから執行猶予になったんだ
So, he was guilty but because of who his opponents were he has a stay of execution.

Panel 4
親友を悪の道から救えてよかったですね
I'm glad you were able to rescue your friend from the dark path.

うむ彼もぼくの友情を理解してくれた
Yeah, he understood my friendship, too.

それで裁判所の命令で日本の神戸へ行くことになったらしい
It seems he's going to Kobe in Japan under court orders.

Panel 5
神戸？
Kobe?

ボランティアで一年間ダジャレを教えて回るらしい
It seems he's volunteering to teach puns for one year.

なんでまたそんな所へ
Why is he going there?

そりゃおまえ物がダジャレだけに
That's just a pun.

Panel 6
シャレコウべ
Skull.
*In Japanese, pun is "dajare", the place is "koube", and "sharekoube" is skull.

Panel 7
だーっ！！
Daaah?!!

つまらないダジャレは本当に人を疲れさせるものである
Boring jokes really tire out a person.

ダジャレの帝王/おわり
King of Puns / End